one might say we're banned from that church
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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