nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
