Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
