I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My feet surprised me
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