you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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