I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
