Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
