I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
