i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
