I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
