So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
