You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
