I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
