You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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