Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
