Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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