Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
