did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
