Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
