I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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