you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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