dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
