So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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