Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i've created a new STD.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
