So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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