Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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