Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's just like the Real World with babies
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
