Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My vagina is officially offended.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
