Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
