You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
