if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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