I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
