ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
