I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
