just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
