Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am available for nakedness
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
