have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
