How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
