it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
