TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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