I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
be right there i have to get my cape
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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