He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
