There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
