Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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