His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
