So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
