Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
