You're so nebulous sometimes
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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