she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
