I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
