Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
