I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
