She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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