i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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