Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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