Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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