they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
