yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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