Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
