omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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